This week I had the most exciting opportunity to speak on a panel for an Asian Heritage Month event hosted by Hidden Histories Society Yukon, who are dedicated to uncovering previously underrepresented histories in the Yukon. It was a full evening of stories by Asian Yukoners including Christopher Tse, a writer, spoken word poet, storyteller and facilitator; a screening of Kyosyu - Longing for Home, a short film by Lillian Nakamura Maguire and Kiyoshi Maguire; and a facilitated panel discussion on being an Asian Yukoner and establishing Yukon as birth and adopted home. I had the great privilege of sharing the floor with Gina Nagano and Fatima Javed, while Christopher Tse facilitated the conversation.
I was very nervous about sharing my stories on the panel because I have spent most of life avoiding talking being Asian and trying to blend in with the white majority. Acknowledging and embracing my Asian identity is still very new to me and there is still so much I'm unpacking every day. I thought Chris' questions for us were very poignant and I wanted to share some of my responses and thoughts here.
Q: Who and where is home?
A: Whitehorse is home - but I've never really truly felt I've had a home anywhere. I was born raised in Abbotsford but I never ever felt like I belonged there. My parents are from Hong Kong, but I've only been there 3 times and that certainly isn't home. It feels sad to not have a home, but it is something I've accepted over the years and I think it is because I am - and forever will be - a visible minority, because I am a born settler on Turtle Island, and I'm disconnected from the land of my ancestors. And to answer who is home - that would be my partner, and my two kids. They are home.
Q:What’s your connection to and interest in Asian heritage, history, and identity?
A: My connection to my Asian identity is still very new. I spent most of my life rejecting my culture, denying knowledge of my language and trying to blend in with the white majority as much as possible. The internalized racism in me runs very deep. My parents emigrated to HK in 2013 and the first time I went to visit them in 2015 was the first time I had felt any type of connection to land and to Chinese heritage. Then when I became a parent, I felt a strong pull to pass on some of my heritage to my children... but I realized I had nothing to pass onto them. I had spent my life refusing to acknowledge or learn about my own culture. I am now on a journey of learning my language, cooking my foods, and celebrating Chinese holidays alongside my children. However, some parts of this journey can feel very contrived - especially around celebrating certain holidays - and I often contemplate whether this truly is "my" heritage or "my" holiday to celebrate. I can often feel like an imposter - not truly "Canadian" (my skin colour denies me this right) and not truly "Chinese", having lived my entire life within a Canadian cultural context. My partner and I often joke that I'm going through a second puberty - this time around, I'm becoming an Asian woman. Q: The Yukon’s population continues to grow, and many newcomers are Asian. According to the Yukon Bureau of Statistics, the most common visible minority group in the Yukon is Filipinos at 38.4%, South Asians at 20.4%, and Chinese at 12.6%. Of recent immigrants arrived between 2016-2021, the most common places of origin were India and the Philippines. What are ways that the Yukon can be more inclusive of Asian immigrants (belonging, services, etc.)? A: Hiring more BIPOC in leadership positions and positions of power can make a world of a difference for immigrants. In 2018, a female Asian woman was hired as the Director in my workplace. This is the first time I have ever had an Asian boss. Her very existence in this role has empowered me to embrace my Asian identity - not because we are constantly talking about race or our Asian identities - but simply by seeing myself reflected in a position of power. Similarly, from K-12, I had one teacher who was Asian and hands down that was the best year of my school years. I had no idea at the time that it was because I had an Asian teacher, but reflecting upon it now, that definitely played a role. I didn't feel like an alien immigrant in her eyes; I didn't feel like a minority; my parents were able to talk to her in Cantonese and be understood! That was incredibly powerful and I want more BIPOC to see themselves reflected in their school, in their government, in society.
Q: You were raised in BC but have chosen to raise your family here in the Yukon. Can you speak to that decision and how you are parenting to, in your words, help shape your kids’ racial identities? A: Raising my family in the Yukon wasn't exactly a conscious choice - but my partner and I love this land, we love our life here and we just so happened to start a family here. I often consider about moving from Whitehorse to a more diverse place - Whitehorse can feel so white. But that may be less of a Whitehorse-problem and more of a me-problem. I have spent my whole life surrounding myself with white women because I have so desperately longed to be one myself. So now my community is nearly entirely white, and I don't know how to create a more diverse community around me and my multi-racial kids. I want to shield them from the pervasive messages of racism and white supremacy - but I lack the skills because I just always gravitate towards white women. I'm also conscious that I don't want to start racially profiling people to form a more diverse group of friends, though! So right now I'm working on finding ways to make genuine connections with non-white folks without making anyone feel racially profiled! We've also recently started family Cantonese lessons with an online tutor, which has been a lot of fun. Their racial education has already began, starting with topics like what it means to be Chinese, to be Asian; what Indigenous means and what residential schools were; how we all have different skin colours and sometimes darker skin colours are perceived to be bad. This stuff isn't common sense but it is real and it surrounds us and I want to ensure my kids have the skills to navigate this racialized and often unconsciously discriminative world. ------- So that about sums up the stories I shared last night. I am so grateful for the opportunity to attend the event, to hear about the experiences of others and connect with folks that are on a similar journey as me. This feels like the beginning of an exciting new chapter of community building, healing and empowerment!
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