Today I went to preschool with my daughter and stuck around to do storytime for her classmates. I chose two of my favourite books to read:
Eyes that Kiss in the Corners by Joanna Ho and illustrated by Dung Ho
Amy Wu and the Perfect Bao by Kat Zhang and illustrated by Charlene Chua.
Recently, one of her friends brought up the fact that my eyes look different than hers. I told her that she was absolutely right! My eyes do look different than hers and we both have beautiful eyes. I took this as a signal that my daughter and her peers are now at an age where they are noticing differences and may be curious about them. I wanted to take this opportunity to address some of these differences in an open and celebratory way.
I started off by telling the kids that I chose these books because they feature characters that are Chinese - just like me! I felt emotional just being able to say that. As a child, the closest I got to characters "like me" were Claudia from The Baby-sitters Club (who is Japanese, not Chinese) and Cho Chang from Harry Potter. Now, our home library has several picture books featuring Chinese characters and race-ambiguous characters. I am so grateful to these authors and illustrators (and those who have worked behind the scenes to get BIPOC work published, finally) for creating this content so that my kids and I can see ourselves reflected in them.
Before reading Eyes that Kiss in the Corners, we talked about our eye-differences (colour and shape) and I marveled at how everyone there had such beautiful eyes. Through the story, I highlighted that many people have different names for their grandparents, such as "Amah". This truly is a beautiful story with absolutely stunning illustrations. The words and pictures are so poetic, and reading this book has actually made me feel proud of my eyes - they aren't something I need to explain away or wish I could change. They are beautiful in their own right - something I had never felt before.
With Amy Wu and the Perfect Bao, we talked about helping our parents or grandparents in the kitchen and the different foods we make in our homes. It is a light and humourous story about perseverance and ingenuity. I love that this book features a Chinese family making a traditional food, but that isn't the focus! Their "differences" (to the white-normative standard) are not the focus of the book, nor is it trying to explicitly teach something about Chinese culture. This helps to normalize differences - the book focuses on themes that are relatable to everyone (Amy's determination and challenges to make something she is proud of), but with characters and contexts that are non-white normative.
As the kids gathered around to hear the stories, I felt a wave of nerves flow through me. Memories of kid-Carman being teased at school for being Chinese, for looking the way I looked, for eating the food I ate, and speaking the language I spoke - it all came rushing back. I looked out at the group of mostly white blue-eyed children and truly feared their rejection and ridicule, before I remembered that I know my value and I know my beauty. I hesitated for a moment, and then forged on with the message I came to share. But it goes to show the lasting impact of racism. It can lead a grown woman - a woman confident in her identity and well-educated in race studies, feeling small and scared at the whims of her daughter's 3- and 4- year old peers... even if only for a moment.
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